take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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