he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
