Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
its not stalking. its research.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
