I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
