You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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