My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I want to be your penis for a week.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
