how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
