So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize