I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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