wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize