You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
