the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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