I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize