Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
