Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why do cheetos always look like penises
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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