This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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