i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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