Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize