Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
