Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
