Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
