You work out of a Hotel?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
