I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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