If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
