Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
