Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
