Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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