Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
