it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize