I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
