Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
