If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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