okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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