remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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