Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize