If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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