fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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