I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
