Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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