5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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