I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
