from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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