maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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