We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
her facebook's as public as her vagina
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
