I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
