That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
