he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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