he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
try to milk me bitch
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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