brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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