hell yes lets make some ravioli
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
