When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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