i don't like sucking hair
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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