that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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