My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize