just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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