Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
