Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
