Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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