Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
