so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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