Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
