For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
