I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
