But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
