I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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