did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
please come you make the beer taste better
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
