did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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