Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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