My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
