I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
