HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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