I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
