I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
