is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
